4. SEVERAL MESSAGES FOR HUSBAND.
Once we set forth a number of messages for women, and we have mentioned some picture of the woman who deserves to be imitated, then we mention some form of loyalty of the women with their husbands, then we will -supaya seimbang- instructing husband with a number of important messages for their lives.
Allaah says:
ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون
"And among the signs of His power is that He created for you wives of your kind alone, so you tend to be and feel at ease to him, and made him among you a sense of love and affection. Verily in this is truly there are signs for a people who think. "[Ar-Rum / 30: 21).
Allaah judge's wife as one of the signs of His power. Ie as you respect the verse that reads (al-Qur'an) as instructed, you also have to respect the verse (sign) visible or invisible to the eye as they are told. Because it will bring to pengesaan Creator, in terms of following His commands and avoid His prohibitions.
O my beloved husband and dear brother! If you pay attention to the Book of Allah, and you will find that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala with a wife named astounding names deserve to be contemplated.
He named it in his book of the al-harts (fields) through His word:
نساؤكم حرث لكم
"Wife-wives are (as) the land where you grow crops ..." [al-Baqarah / 2: 223].
Al-harts are plants grown by farmers in a way: first of all, choose well can land good for growing crops. Then choose the good seed that is free of disease, then choose to either planting and water it regularly. Then after that wait for the fruit, which is the result. Fruits are anticipated from the wife are children, parts of the liver, shalihmu charity after your death if you are educated as well as possible.
God named the wife with the clothes through His word:
هن لباس لكم وأنتم لباس لهن
"They are your garments and ye are their garments for ..." [al-Baqarah / 2: 187].
As it is known that among the purposes of clothing is to beautify the appearance and close the genitals. You are decorated with ornate and she with you, you cover the aurat (secret) and he covered your nakedness of her.
After that sudaraku dear, and because of the virtue of this wife, I want to give you some advice. Hopefully this advice is helpful to you if you practice it.
Probate (Book) of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam To Wives.
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam intestate to the husbands against their wives in many occasions, and we will mention in part:
From Abu Hurayrah radi anhu, from the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, he said:
من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فلا يؤذي جاره, واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا, فإنهن خلقن من ضلع, وإن أعوج شيء في الضلع أعلاه, فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته, وإن تركته لم يزل أعوج, فاستوصوا بالنساء خيرا.
"Whoever believes in Allah and the Hereafter, let him disturb neighbors, and treat women well. Therefore, they are created from a bent rib, and indeed the most crooked rib is the top. If you intend to straighten it, then you break it and if you let it, it will remain crooked. Therefore, treat women well. "[1]
Miraculous' Umar ibn al-Khattab To A Bedouin.
It was narrated that a Bedouin came to complain to him about the bad character of his wife. When I got home 'Umar and knocked on the door, he heard the wife of' Umar raised his voice in front of him, then he turned back and said to himself, "Woe is me if such a state Commander of the Faithful, then what about me?" 'Umar came out and saw Bedouin man was gone, then he asked, "what's the matter with you?" he said, "O Commander of the Faithful, hajatku has been completed." 'Umar said to him, "Come here and tell me what you want." he said, "O Commander of the Faithful, I came to complain to you about my wife's bad character. But I see your wife like my wife, even more, then I say, 'If so state Commander of the Faithful, then what about me?' "'Umar said to him," I am patient with him because he has the rights to me. She took care of my children, cook my food, wash clothes, clean my house. I was patient with him because he has the rights to me. "
To testament Uncle nephew.
'Uthman ibn' Abi Sufyan bin Anbasah propose to her uncle, 'Utbah, to marry his daughter. Then his uncle sat beside him and rubbed his head, then said, "The closest relatives to woo his beloved lover. I can not resist it, and I have no reason not to accept it. I marry you both, and you are more noble than me against him, even though he was more attached to my heart than you. Therefore, noble-a sense, then you call sweet on lisanku. And do not humiliate it, then the price you become despicable in my eyes. I have mendekatkanmu with relatives, then do not keep my heart of hearts. "
To Every husband.
Do not be too long to leave your wife. Know, O my brother, that coupled with the bride and your lady talking to him is not wasted time. Especially if the conversation goes on the way to go and you are seeking in it for a particular purpose. Thus, you can understand your wife, and you give him the understanding to be able to understand you. This understanding is the first step to good relationships. How many we see in the human reality, the husband and wife have been married for decades, but each party does not understand their partner. It (will) be one of the causes of hostility. Brother, by sitting with your wife and talk to her, means you have to expand the space for you to memahamkannya much do you think that might seem foreign to him at the outset. The first conversation does not leave the desired impact and do not feel the results. But if done repeatedly, choose a suitable time and right method to express ideas and make a lot of instances, it will definitely leave a huge effect in humans. [2]
Put it in front of your eyes what was narrated from 'Uqbah ibn' Amir radi anhu, he said that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Archery and menungganglah! You are adept at archery more than I love horseback riding. Everything played someone is falsehood, except one with his bow archery, horse training, and joking with his wife. Therefore, it is the truth. Anyone who forget archery after learning, then he has to deny the science that is taught to him. "[3]
From 'Atha' ibn Abi Rabah, he said: "I saw Jabir bin 'Abdillah and Jabir bin' Umair, both chambers of Anshar- were practicing archery. When one of the two exhausted, then he sat down, and the other says, 'Are you lazy? I heard the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:' Everything other than Allah is dhikr pranks and pointless (or negligence) except for four cases: a person walking between the two objectives, to train his horse, playing around with his wife, and learn swim. '"[4]
True, your family has a right over you. So, the family has the right, God has the right, and has the right spirit. Every Muslim is required to provide each are entitled to their rights. Striking a balance between these rights is a case that was ordered, and nobody has been able to do it except the people who understand. Squandered about it would be a waste of life as a whole. [5]
Not Including Masculinity (Rujulah).
Among the things that need to be warned is the act of injustice that many people do not have the humanity of the people whose hearts are hard, hard tabi'atnya, and bad pemahamanya, namely menzhalimi woman hit and hit them like a wild camel. This action is done for trivial reasons. Sometimes they are shrouded behind the Qur-ani permission to hit. Most of them think that it is synonymous with virility kezhaliman, coercion and arrogance. While leadership is shackles on her neck to subdue. Wife does not like cows or commercial goods, if it has been bought, the owner is free to do anything to it at will, as is thought by those who are wrongdoers. The woman in this case has a perfect right to complain to the guardian. Treating a good wife is not the case with the choice left to the husband; he can do it or not do it, but this is a mandatory task.
Are people who do not pay attention to her hard word Allaah:
إن ربك لبالمرصاد
"Verily your Lord is really watching." [Fajr: 14].
Also the words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:
إني أحرج عليكم حق الضعيفين: اليتيم والمرأة.
"I am worried you will be right on two of the weaker party; orphans and women. "[6]
And the word he sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:
النساء شقائق الرجال.
"Women are the sisters of men." [7]
Message To Husband And Warning For him order not lawless To Both Parents After Marriage.
Dr. Muhammad ash-Shabbagh hafizhahullah said: "Verily what is given by your parents in the form of breeding, support, and kindness to you, you are required to reply in kind by giving him recognition and adequacy. Is really about the two of them have kept the serve when you are weak and can not take care of yourself, provide for you, move over for you, do not sleep due care of, and willing fatigue that you feel comfortable. Did worth to you, if you do the good, and have loyalty, to reply to it with recognition and kindness? (Is not reply goodness but goodness too)?
Mothers take precedence in worship because of his weakness. Therefore, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam asked that devotion to the mother several times before the father. Among the things that can push you to realize that your life is baktimu you put yourself in the position of father and mother. Are you happy later when you are old, weakened bones and graying head, you get a bad treatment of your son, wasted annoying, and in-despise the hurt feelings?
Know, O noble brother, that the temperament of both parents and perangaimu changed after marriage. Both in general to be very sensitive. Mother is much more sensitive than the father. By because it is, be careful. Try everything you can that mother's heart has not changed towards you.
There are some things that can help you realize what you want in the form of both parents at the same time pay attention to the wife:
a. Thou refuge in Allah and the fix komunikasimu with him in the form of worship, prayer, and commitment to what disyari'atkan him.
b. You live independently, apart from your family (your parents) and family of your wife, and did not involve anyone from the family you two into the problem you are special, and you two are willing to solve the problem of you with affection soul.
c. You explain to your parents with a deep respect of the new mood that you face, and also explain to them about the actual reality that much of the interpretation, which is sometimes the devil enter her misgivings to man to inflict disharmony among families with people loved one.
d. You are more devoted to both, both materially and morally, such as giving gifts, visiting, always communicating, glorify, and make the mother feel that she was still a mother who has a big right.
e. Provide an understanding of the behavior of the wives realize the pleasure of both parents. [9]
Probate For Husband Wife Not accomplishing Prayer.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked about the person who has a wife who does not pray, if he should order the prayer to him? If that does not work, whether she should divorce him or not?
Answer: Yes, he should be ordered to pray to him and he obliged ordered. Even thus shall order him to everyone he is able to command it, if there is no other kind of people who do so.
Allaah says:
وأمر أهلك بالصلاة واصطبر عليها
"And enjoin prayer on your family and establish thyself in doing it ..." [Thaahaa: 132].
He says:
يا أيها الذين آمنوا قوا أنفسكم وأهليكم نارا وقودها الناس والحجارة
"O ye who believe, keep yourself and your family from the Hell fire whose fuel is men and stones ..." [Tahriim / 66: 6).
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:
علموهم وأدبوهم.
"Teach them and punish them."
Along with the order, there is no necessity to suggest that doing it with consciousness, as advised him on what he needed. If he still left the prayer, then he should divorce her. And it is obligatory according to the correct opinion. The person who died-the prayer entitled to sentence until he praying, according to the agreement of the Muslims. Even if one does not pray, then he must be killed. He was killed as an apostate infidel again. Based on two famous opinion. Wallaahu knows best. [10]
[Copied from the book Isyratun Nisaa Minal Ilal Alif Yaa, author Abu Hafs bin Kamal bin Abdir Razzaq. Indonesian edition of The Complete Guide From A To Z Marriages, translators Saikhu Ahmad, Ibn Kathir Publisher Library - Bogor]
_______
footnote
[1]. HR. Al-Bukhari (no. 3331) book Ahaadiitsul Anbiya '(and no. 5185, 5186) an-Nikaah book, chapter Washaati bin al-Nisaa' .- ed.) Muslim (no. 47), the book of al-Iimaan.
[2]. 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 383).
[3]. HR. Muslim (no. 1919) book al-'Imaarah, an-Nasa-i (no. 3146) book of al-Jihaad, Ahmad (no. 16,849) and the wording of this for him.
[4]. As-Lineage ash-Shahiihah (no. 315).
[5]. 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 385).
[6]. HR. Ibn Majah (no. 3678) book al-Adab, Ahmad (no. 9374), Ibn Hibban (no. 1266), al-Hakim (I / 63). He menshahihkannya and approved by adh-Dhahabi, and dihasankan by Shaykh al-Albani in as-Lineage ash-Shahiihah (no. 1015).
[7]. HR. At-Tirmidhi (no. 163) book ath-Thahaarah, Ahmad (no. 25,663), and in-shahihkan by Shaykh al-Albani in Shahiihul Jaami '(II / 281). And see 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 467).
[8]. 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 509) and attributed to Nazharaat Muslimah fil Usratil (thing. 102-103).
[9]. 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 512) and is attributed to the book Nazharaat Muslimah fil Usratil (thing. 103-104).
[10]. Majmuu 'Fataawaa Ibni Taymiyya (XXXII / 276-277).
Once we set forth a number of messages for women, and we have mentioned some picture of the woman who deserves to be imitated, then we mention some form of loyalty of the women with their husbands, then we will -supaya seimbang- instructing husband with a number of important messages for their lives.
Allaah says:
ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون
"And among the signs of His power is that He created for you wives of your kind alone, so you tend to be and feel at ease to him, and made him among you a sense of love and affection. Verily in this is truly there are signs for a people who think. "[Ar-Rum / 30: 21).
Allaah judge's wife as one of the signs of His power. Ie as you respect the verse that reads (al-Qur'an) as instructed, you also have to respect the verse (sign) visible or invisible to the eye as they are told. Because it will bring to pengesaan Creator, in terms of following His commands and avoid His prohibitions.
O my beloved husband and dear brother! If you pay attention to the Book of Allah, and you will find that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala with a wife named astounding names deserve to be contemplated.
He named it in his book of the al-harts (fields) through His word:
نساؤكم حرث لكم
"Wife-wives are (as) the land where you grow crops ..." [al-Baqarah / 2: 223].
Al-harts are plants grown by farmers in a way: first of all, choose well can land good for growing crops. Then choose the good seed that is free of disease, then choose to either planting and water it regularly. Then after that wait for the fruit, which is the result. Fruits are anticipated from the wife are children, parts of the liver, shalihmu charity after your death if you are educated as well as possible.
God named the wife with the clothes through His word:
هن لباس لكم وأنتم لباس لهن
"They are your garments and ye are their garments for ..." [al-Baqarah / 2: 187].
As it is known that among the purposes of clothing is to beautify the appearance and close the genitals. You are decorated with ornate and she with you, you cover the aurat (secret) and he covered your nakedness of her.
After that sudaraku dear, and because of the virtue of this wife, I want to give you some advice. Hopefully this advice is helpful to you if you practice it.
Probate (Book) of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam To Wives.
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam intestate to the husbands against their wives in many occasions, and we will mention in part:
From Abu Hurayrah radi anhu, from the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, he said:
من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فلا يؤذي جاره, واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا, فإنهن خلقن من ضلع, وإن أعوج شيء في الضلع أعلاه, فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته, وإن تركته لم يزل أعوج, فاستوصوا بالنساء خيرا.
"Whoever believes in Allah and the Hereafter, let him disturb neighbors, and treat women well. Therefore, they are created from a bent rib, and indeed the most crooked rib is the top. If you intend to straighten it, then you break it and if you let it, it will remain crooked. Therefore, treat women well. "[1]
Miraculous' Umar ibn al-Khattab To A Bedouin.
It was narrated that a Bedouin came to complain to him about the bad character of his wife. When I got home 'Umar and knocked on the door, he heard the wife of' Umar raised his voice in front of him, then he turned back and said to himself, "Woe is me if such a state Commander of the Faithful, then what about me?" 'Umar came out and saw Bedouin man was gone, then he asked, "what's the matter with you?" he said, "O Commander of the Faithful, hajatku has been completed." 'Umar said to him, "Come here and tell me what you want." he said, "O Commander of the Faithful, I came to complain to you about my wife's bad character. But I see your wife like my wife, even more, then I say, 'If so state Commander of the Faithful, then what about me?' "'Umar said to him," I am patient with him because he has the rights to me. She took care of my children, cook my food, wash clothes, clean my house. I was patient with him because he has the rights to me. "
To testament Uncle nephew.
'Uthman ibn' Abi Sufyan bin Anbasah propose to her uncle, 'Utbah, to marry his daughter. Then his uncle sat beside him and rubbed his head, then said, "The closest relatives to woo his beloved lover. I can not resist it, and I have no reason not to accept it. I marry you both, and you are more noble than me against him, even though he was more attached to my heart than you. Therefore, noble-a sense, then you call sweet on lisanku. And do not humiliate it, then the price you become despicable in my eyes. I have mendekatkanmu with relatives, then do not keep my heart of hearts. "
To Every husband.
Do not be too long to leave your wife. Know, O my brother, that coupled with the bride and your lady talking to him is not wasted time. Especially if the conversation goes on the way to go and you are seeking in it for a particular purpose. Thus, you can understand your wife, and you give him the understanding to be able to understand you. This understanding is the first step to good relationships. How many we see in the human reality, the husband and wife have been married for decades, but each party does not understand their partner. It (will) be one of the causes of hostility. Brother, by sitting with your wife and talk to her, means you have to expand the space for you to memahamkannya much do you think that might seem foreign to him at the outset. The first conversation does not leave the desired impact and do not feel the results. But if done repeatedly, choose a suitable time and right method to express ideas and make a lot of instances, it will definitely leave a huge effect in humans. [2]
Put it in front of your eyes what was narrated from 'Uqbah ibn' Amir radi anhu, he said that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Archery and menungganglah! You are adept at archery more than I love horseback riding. Everything played someone is falsehood, except one with his bow archery, horse training, and joking with his wife. Therefore, it is the truth. Anyone who forget archery after learning, then he has to deny the science that is taught to him. "[3]
From 'Atha' ibn Abi Rabah, he said: "I saw Jabir bin 'Abdillah and Jabir bin' Umair, both chambers of Anshar- were practicing archery. When one of the two exhausted, then he sat down, and the other says, 'Are you lazy? I heard the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:' Everything other than Allah is dhikr pranks and pointless (or negligence) except for four cases: a person walking between the two objectives, to train his horse, playing around with his wife, and learn swim. '"[4]
True, your family has a right over you. So, the family has the right, God has the right, and has the right spirit. Every Muslim is required to provide each are entitled to their rights. Striking a balance between these rights is a case that was ordered, and nobody has been able to do it except the people who understand. Squandered about it would be a waste of life as a whole. [5]
Not Including Masculinity (Rujulah).
Among the things that need to be warned is the act of injustice that many people do not have the humanity of the people whose hearts are hard, hard tabi'atnya, and bad pemahamanya, namely menzhalimi woman hit and hit them like a wild camel. This action is done for trivial reasons. Sometimes they are shrouded behind the Qur-ani permission to hit. Most of them think that it is synonymous with virility kezhaliman, coercion and arrogance. While leadership is shackles on her neck to subdue. Wife does not like cows or commercial goods, if it has been bought, the owner is free to do anything to it at will, as is thought by those who are wrongdoers. The woman in this case has a perfect right to complain to the guardian. Treating a good wife is not the case with the choice left to the husband; he can do it or not do it, but this is a mandatory task.
Are people who do not pay attention to her hard word Allaah:
إن ربك لبالمرصاد
"Verily your Lord is really watching." [Fajr: 14].
Also the words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:
إني أحرج عليكم حق الضعيفين: اليتيم والمرأة.
"I am worried you will be right on two of the weaker party; orphans and women. "[6]
And the word he sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:
النساء شقائق الرجال.
"Women are the sisters of men." [7]
Message To Husband And Warning For him order not lawless To Both Parents After Marriage.
Dr. Muhammad ash-Shabbagh hafizhahullah said: "Verily what is given by your parents in the form of breeding, support, and kindness to you, you are required to reply in kind by giving him recognition and adequacy. Is really about the two of them have kept the serve when you are weak and can not take care of yourself, provide for you, move over for you, do not sleep due care of, and willing fatigue that you feel comfortable. Did worth to you, if you do the good, and have loyalty, to reply to it with recognition and kindness? (Is not reply goodness but goodness too)?
Mothers take precedence in worship because of his weakness. Therefore, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam asked that devotion to the mother several times before the father. Among the things that can push you to realize that your life is baktimu you put yourself in the position of father and mother. Are you happy later when you are old, weakened bones and graying head, you get a bad treatment of your son, wasted annoying, and in-despise the hurt feelings?
Know, O noble brother, that the temperament of both parents and perangaimu changed after marriage. Both in general to be very sensitive. Mother is much more sensitive than the father. By because it is, be careful. Try everything you can that mother's heart has not changed towards you.
There are some things that can help you realize what you want in the form of both parents at the same time pay attention to the wife:
a. Thou refuge in Allah and the fix komunikasimu with him in the form of worship, prayer, and commitment to what disyari'atkan him.
b. You live independently, apart from your family (your parents) and family of your wife, and did not involve anyone from the family you two into the problem you are special, and you two are willing to solve the problem of you with affection soul.
c. You explain to your parents with a deep respect of the new mood that you face, and also explain to them about the actual reality that much of the interpretation, which is sometimes the devil enter her misgivings to man to inflict disharmony among families with people loved one.
d. You are more devoted to both, both materially and morally, such as giving gifts, visiting, always communicating, glorify, and make the mother feel that she was still a mother who has a big right.
e. Provide an understanding of the behavior of the wives realize the pleasure of both parents. [9]
Probate For Husband Wife Not accomplishing Prayer.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked about the person who has a wife who does not pray, if he should order the prayer to him? If that does not work, whether she should divorce him or not?
Answer: Yes, he should be ordered to pray to him and he obliged ordered. Even thus shall order him to everyone he is able to command it, if there is no other kind of people who do so.
Allaah says:
وأمر أهلك بالصلاة واصطبر عليها
"And enjoin prayer on your family and establish thyself in doing it ..." [Thaahaa: 132].
He says:
يا أيها الذين آمنوا قوا أنفسكم وأهليكم نارا وقودها الناس والحجارة
"O ye who believe, keep yourself and your family from the Hell fire whose fuel is men and stones ..." [Tahriim / 66: 6).
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:
علموهم وأدبوهم.
"Teach them and punish them."
Along with the order, there is no necessity to suggest that doing it with consciousness, as advised him on what he needed. If he still left the prayer, then he should divorce her. And it is obligatory according to the correct opinion. The person who died-the prayer entitled to sentence until he praying, according to the agreement of the Muslims. Even if one does not pray, then he must be killed. He was killed as an apostate infidel again. Based on two famous opinion. Wallaahu knows best. [10]
[Copied from the book Isyratun Nisaa Minal Ilal Alif Yaa, author Abu Hafs bin Kamal bin Abdir Razzaq. Indonesian edition of The Complete Guide From A To Z Marriages, translators Saikhu Ahmad, Ibn Kathir Publisher Library - Bogor]
_______
footnote
[1]. HR. Al-Bukhari (no. 3331) book Ahaadiitsul Anbiya '(and no. 5185, 5186) an-Nikaah book, chapter Washaati bin al-Nisaa' .- ed.) Muslim (no. 47), the book of al-Iimaan.
[2]. 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 383).
[3]. HR. Muslim (no. 1919) book al-'Imaarah, an-Nasa-i (no. 3146) book of al-Jihaad, Ahmad (no. 16,849) and the wording of this for him.
[4]. As-Lineage ash-Shahiihah (no. 315).
[5]. 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 385).
[6]. HR. Ibn Majah (no. 3678) book al-Adab, Ahmad (no. 9374), Ibn Hibban (no. 1266), al-Hakim (I / 63). He menshahihkannya and approved by adh-Dhahabi, and dihasankan by Shaykh al-Albani in as-Lineage ash-Shahiihah (no. 1015).
[7]. HR. At-Tirmidhi (no. 163) book ath-Thahaarah, Ahmad (no. 25,663), and in-shahihkan by Shaykh al-Albani in Shahiihul Jaami '(II / 281). And see 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 467).
[8]. 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 509) and attributed to Nazharaat Muslimah fil Usratil (thing. 102-103).
[9]. 'Audatul Hijaab (II / 512) and is attributed to the book Nazharaat Muslimah fil Usratil (thing. 103-104).
[10]. Majmuu 'Fataawaa Ibni Taymiyya (XXXII / 276-277).
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